JediBoy wanted to go out to lunch today, and wanted to meet Calvin and his mom there.
What an adventure. The two boys, JediBoy (4) and Calvin (6), both profess to love this particular restaurant, but they love it on their (loud, messy, violent) terms! They both have a lot to say and feel the same urgency to speak their minds - which leads to overlapping conversations, louder and louder and LOUDER to try and drown the other one out. They both like to wrestle, kick, wiggle, lay down, crawl under the table, slide, bump, bang, switch places, toss napkins, all the good energetic male energy - but not appropriate for a restaurant!
Sometimes they are together and can stay fairly calm, but today they continued to feed on each other’s energy. They really did have a long, drawn out game of bordering-on-violent footsie. They really did manage to wrestle in one side of the booth. They really did have a napkin-throwing spree that was thankfully contained within our booth.
Calvin’s Mom and I both respect our boys but wanted to respect the other patrons of the restaurant too, so we tried desperately to re-orient them in happy ways - looking out the window, studying the painting on the wall, drawing, talking about our pets (we both have hermit crabs and mice). These diversions would work - sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for nanoseconds - and then they’d be back to battling robots or wrestling.
The boys really enjoy being together but the power plays and sensitivities don’t always balance. Calvin’s Mom and I frequently find ourselves trying to rebalance the energy to calm tempers or soothe hurt feelings. The boys are often trying to spontaneously hug or kiss the other, who may not be ready for the touch, who then responds with annoyance or anger. And then two minutes later, the fates have reversed and the previously annoyed boy is now trying to hug the offended one.
All we can do is keep good spirits - and how can we not, when one small voice summed up their relationship for us?
I love you - get away from me!
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Actually, I could safely call him by another name, which he goes by but isn’t his given name… but it’s more fun to call him “Calvin” here.
